It is time to be true to you, be honest with your feelings. You have been avoiding them in fear of being overwhelmed. It is time to be honest and let fear go! Face your emotions head on and have the clarity that you been asking for. You will be making necessary changes that you are unprepared for. Focus on your desires and not upon your fears so you will attract the former not the latter. The situation will improve if you face it with honesty.
Love, Light and Gratitude